Photo # 12
Week of February the 25th
I'm not quite sure if I have to do a blog post this week considering I did one last week, but here I am. This is my blog post.
I am a black hole right now.
What happens goes in through my eyes, my ears,
and somehow ends up
somewhere else
entirely.
But it's not
my brain
or
my heart.
Like,
What am I even saying right now?
I'm a wee bit emotionally
drained.
It is probably due to the weather. Without snow, the winter is nothing. Without the sun, I am nothing. I am suffering with Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is SAD. (LOL, see what I did there?)
According to the NIH, SAD is due to the reduced amount of natural light. It affects at least half a million people every winter. Symptoms (that I have experienced) include but are not limited to:
-Feelings of emptiness, apathy
-Feelings of hopelessness
-Lethargy
-Overeating
-Irritability
Isn't it strange that the weather should cause such drastic changes in the human body? Just goes to show that we, as human beings, have an undeniable connection to nature. Why are we destroying it, I don't know.
Anyhow, other than "light therapy," which to me seems quite ineffective for the healing process for such a depression, the only cure is for the sun to come out again. Only then will I feel myself again. The summer not only does wonders for my skin (I do get quite the golden-brown during the summer daze), but I always come back to school feeling rejuvenated.
Perhaps my unhappiness could stem from my Third Quarter Blues, but I'm positive that looking out of my window in the morning and seeing gray contributes considerably.
So, naturally, as I do whenever I am feeling overworked or stressed or depressed, I decided to bake. I made Gluten-Free Caramel Cinnamon Buns, and they turned out really well, surprisingly! They are pictured above. That photo was taken before I slathered on a healthy helping of cream cheese glaze. You can see the caramel sheen on them, though, can't you? Yumm.
As you can tell, I have definitely been overeating due to my SADness. No regrets, because these things are ridiculously good.
Do I really have Seasonal Affective Disorder? Or does the fact that I am mentally overworked at school leave me emotionally drained everywhere else? Is it the fact that I feel like no matter how hard I try, I won't get the feedback that I so desire? Or is this feeling stemming from my general unhappiness at the weather?
It is just a cycle that just keeps
building on itself.
And everything just gets bigger,
every feeling of sadness
is intensified
until all that's left
is emptiness.
Luckily, I have Cinnamon Buns to make everything better, eh?
